For those children who live away, the change they see in their parent’s health and mental capacity may be alarming — whereas siblings that have daily contact are working with these issues constantly. Here is the chance to compare notes and work together as a complete family in the long term care planning process.

For you parents who are well and active, this is a good time to hold a family meeting and share with your children your plan for long term care. Tell them where financial and legal documents are located. Review health care directives, living wills and long term care alternatives.

Experience has shown that even families that are close can quickly grow angry, jealous and hostile towards each other when an aging parent begins to need long term care. If a

sibling moves into the parent’s home, others can easily be suspicious of ulterior motives and fear losing their inheritance. On the other hand, the child providing the elder care becomes bitter and feels there is no support or help from siblings. Pre-need meetings for the purpose of making a plan, before eldercare becomes imminent, avoids these types of conflicts.

In its book, “The 4 Steps of Long Term Care Planning,” the National Care Planning Council provides guidelines and checklists for family planning meetings. Here’s an excerpt from the book:

“The first step to holding a meeting, and perhaps the most difficult

one, is to get all interested persons together in one place at one time.

If it’s a family gathering, perhaps a birthday, an anniversary or

another special event could be used as a way to get all to meet. Or

maybe even a special dinner might be an incentive.

The person conducting the meeting can be a parent or one person of

a couple who are doing their planning, years before the need for care

arises. A meeting on behalf of someone already receiving care or

needing care in the immediate future could be conducted by that

person or by a member of the family, by an adviser or a friend.

The agenda could be formal or informal. If you want a formal

agenda, we suggest using our care planning checklist as the agenda.

Copies of the care plan should be prepared prior to the meeting and

presented to those attending. Discussion is encouraged and we

recommend that the person in charge not dictate but encourage input

from everyone.

After a thorough discussion of the issues and the presentation of the

solutions to the problems that will be encountered, there should be a

consensus of all attending to support the plan. If the plan needs to

be altered to meet everyone’s expectations then by all means do so if

that can be done. But it is not always possible to please everyone so

there must sometimes be compromise.

The end of the meeting should consist of asking everyone present to

make his or her commitment to support the plan.

GET IT IN WRITING! All good intentions seem to be forgotten

with time. It may be years after this meeting before the long term

care plan begins. If there are vocal commitments to help with

transportation to doctors, give respite to the caregiver or other

commitments, write them down on the care agreement. You can

even have each person put a signature to his or her commitment if

you think that is important.”

“The 4 Steps of Long Term Care Planning ,” by The National Care Planning Council

The U.S Department of Health and Human Services states:

“No one wants to think about a time when they might need long-term care. So planning ahead for this possibility often gets put off. Most people first learn about long-term care when they or a loved one need care. Then their options are often limited by lack of information, the immediate need for services, and insufficient resources to pay for preferred services. Planning ahead allows you to have more control over your future”.

http://www.longtermcare.gov

“Whether you plan a formal meeting with an agenda or informally gather for a discussion, when the family is together make it a point to start the long term care planning process.

There is a lot to learn and many decisions to make concerning finances, health issues and legal work. It may take research and a lot of time to put a plan together, but if everyone is involved it will work, and be worth it.” National Care Planning Council, www.longtermcarelink.net

]]> http://abidinghomecare.com/family-reunion-a-good-time-for-family-planning/feed 0 http://abidinghomecare.com/care-providers-getting-emotional-with-seniors http://abidinghomecare.com/care-providers-getting-emotional-with-seniors#comments Mon, 27 Apr 2009 03:05:16 +0000 admin http://abidingmemorycare.com/wordpress/?p=33 Seniors have emotional needs, just like the rest of us do. They need to feel loved, wanted, and needed. Knowing and feeling that they are valued is an extremely important aspect of their emotional well-being. Seniors often find themselves separated from their friends and families, leaving only themselves to rely on for moral and emotional support. After an extended period of having an emotional void in their lives, the elderly tend to fall into the downward spiral of depression.

However, there are a number of ways that care providers and family members can lift the spirits of their elderly loved one and maintain their emotional health in the process. Here’s a look at some of the techniques that can be implemented to ensure a senior’s emotional well-being.

Talking

Talking to the client about a variety of topics. Tell them about news or current events that they might not be aware of. Talking about recent episodes of their favorite television programs. Discuss the day to day activities and goings on within the home or family. All of these are good topics to strike up a conversation, but they are only a drop in the bucket.

Listening

Listening to the client is also very important. Being attentive and interested while the client speaks makes them feel important and valued. Listen to them talk about anything that comes to their mind. Maybe they want to reminisce about the good old days or maybe they’re upset over something they saw on television. Perhaps they need to bounce some ideas off of someone or share their opinion on things that matter to them. No matter what it is, care providers and family members should always be respectful and attentive when the senior is speaking. Otherwise, they may feel like no one cares what they have to say, which could cause them to withdraw all together.

Reminders

Everyone likes to be reminded of how special they are. Care providers and family members should always remind their elderly loved ones how special they are to them and how important they are in their lives.

Reassurance and Positive Reinforcement

Sometimes an elderly person may feel like they are helpless or not good for anything due to the constraints and ill effects that aging can often bring. Care providers and family members alike should make conscious efforts to praise any and all accomplishments that a senior makes over the course of the day. They should encourage the senior to try new things and to complete simple task. This can be very beneficial to the client by reestablishing their sense of self-worth and value.