In today’s column, I want to address the specific issue of financial abuse, or exploitation, and share some tips that seniors and their families can employ to avoid the pitfalls of this growing problem.  Next month, we’ll tackle the issue of physical abuse.

What do I mean by senior “financial abuse or exploitation”?  Simply, this refers to any situation where someone causes a senior to make a financial decision that’s based on threats … pressure … or incomplete or misleading information … and a decision that leads them to do something with their assets that isn’t in their best interests.

Seniors can be exploited by lots of people for lots of reasons, and not just crooks or con men, but by family and friends as well.  Exploited NOT because they’re in the wrong crowd, but because they’re apart from the crowd altogether.  NOT because they’re uneducated, but because they’re uninformed.  NOT because they’re greedy, but because they’re generous.  And NOT because they want someone to take care of them, but rather because they want to take care of themselves.   In some cases, as a senior begins exhibiting signs of dementia, this can also be an opening for a friend or family member or con artist to exploit that forgetfulness.

For many seniors today, there is a growing sense of fear that their resources may not be sufficient to weather the economic storms we’re currently experiencing, or the unexpected physical setbacks that will inevitably confront us.  As we get older, and retire, we realize we aren’t sure whether we’ll outlive our resources.  And that makes us susceptible to those who promise easy solutions and big returns.  Which leads to another fear … the fear of fraud.  In fact, a recent survey by the Financial Freedom company asked Americans between the ages of 62 and 75 to rank a list of fears.  And what do you think was Number One?  That’s right … fraud.  Seniors fear fraud ahead of health crises and terrorism.

So we know that fraud targeted toward seniors is real, and we know that seniors worry about it.  The question is … what can we do to protect ourselves, whether we’re seniors or those who care about them?

I would like to offer the following recommendations:  (1) Take your time.   Don’t be pressured into making quick decisions such as wiring money or writing a check at a seminar.  (2) Be suspicious of anyone who promises you inflated returns on an investment.  (3) Be wary of an advisor who doesn’t talk about risk or says an investment carries no risk.  Recognize that not all financial products are insured.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but know the difference. (4) Involve others.  Resist pressure to act right away.  (5) Verify the credentials and background of the person you’re dealing with.  Legitimate professionals welcome your scrutiny.  Three centuries ago, Thomas Cooper said, “Fraud and falsehood only dread examination.  Truth invites it.” (6) Remember when you were a little kid and your parents told you to beware of strangers?  It’s time to repeat their advice: Beware of strangers.  (7) Understand the nature of the investment.  Get all of the facts.  What something is called means nothing; what something does means everything. (8) Monitor your account statements closely.  And, finally, (9) the single best way to avoid being exploited financially is to have a plan.  No matter what your age, it is never too late to put together a financial plan.

Financial exploitation is real, and it’s a growing issue among seniors today.  Remember, the best defense is the best offense.  Seniors are most susceptible to financial exploitation when they’re fearful, and when they’re alone.  Let’s take steps now to avoid those pitfalls.

Carl R. Johnson
Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)®
Community Relations Director
Abiding HomeCare
Silverdale, WA

Obviously, such a subject is not something people are eager to discuss or plan for.  Most people tend to avoid such discussions, and put it off for as long as possible.  Frankly, it’s uncomfortable, because it exposes hidden fears and anxieties that we would rather not face.  In fact, it’s taken over 48 years of married life for my wife and I to finally recognize the necessity to face our mortality and make appropriate preparations. But given the realities of our day, and the state of physical challenges we all face as we age, such a discussion and planning becomes imperative.

In a previous column, I referred to a document called the Five Wishes, which I believe serves to intelligently and intentionally engage in a conversation about life-ending decisions.  It also represents a wonderful “tool” to implement actions that accomplish our physical, emotional, and spiritual wishes and values.

In light of the recently passed “Death with Dignity” initiative, it becomes even more relevant and timely to address these end-of-life issues, and to establish a clear and well-defined “plan” that meets our beliefs and wishes.  The fact is … for most people, assisted suicide is not a viable consideration, and yet, without a clearly defined plan, it’s possible that circumstances could manipulate us into an unwise, emotionally based decision.  Now is the time to take action that prevents that from happening.

So why the Five Wishes?

First of all … it’s comprehensive.  It lets you talk with your family, friends and doctor about how you want to be treated if you become seriously ill.  Your family members won’t have to guess what you want, and it protects them because they won’t have to make hard choices without knowing your wishes.  The document allows you to: 1) select the person of your choice to be your Health Care Agent; 2) define and specify the kind of medical treatment you want or don’t want; 3) establish how comfortable you want to be; 4) designate how you want people to treat you; and 5) specify what you want your loved ones to know about your beliefs, wishes, and final arrangements.

Secondly … it’s dynamic.  It’s a “living” document that is flexible, and that allows changes to be made when necessary.  It’s also easy to use because all you have to do is check a box, circle a direction, or write a few sentences.

Finally … it’s legal.  40 states, plus the District of Columbia, now acknowledge that the Five Wishes substantially meets their requirements under the law for such a document, and one of those states is the State of Washington.

By the way … Five Wishes isn’t just for seniors, it’s for anyone 18 or older … married or single.  Over eight million Americans of all ages have already used it, because it works so well.  In fact, lawyers, doctors, hospitals and hospices, faith communities, employers, and retiree groups are handing out this document to interested people all across the country.  If you want more information, and a copy of your own, you can contact Aging with Dignity at 888-594-7437, or go to their website at: www.agingwithdignity.org.  It truly is a great resource.

I know for my wife and I we now have the confidence and assurance that our loved ones will be spared the difficult task of making end-of-life decisions because we loved them enough to plan ahead.  So can you.

Carl R. Johnson
Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)^®
Community Relations Director
Abiding HomeCare
Silverdale, WA

Today, I want to address some important considerations when a parent is in the final stages of life, and how those last days can actually be sweet and memorable, even in the midst of sadness and pain.

Several years ago my father came to visit my wife and I following his second open-heart surgery. We knew his recovery had been very difficult, and that this visit might be our last time together.  What we didn’t anticipate was that from the time he arrived we only had five days until his death.  Although the first several days were filled with great fellowship and sharing, on the evening of the third day, after rushing him to the hospital, we were painfully aware that the end was near.

There was a reluctance to “let him go”, and yet, it was obvious that he was ready and at peace with his soon departure.  At the time we were only thinking about OUR loss, instead of HIS gain.   Fortunately, this became a teachable moment for our whole family … to realize that we need to listen to our loved ones, and respect their wishes … even in the last days and hours of life.

While our experience of spending time with a dying loved one was brief, there are many today that have that process prolonged … even for weeks and months.  Fortunately, our society has established one of the most caring, loving, and compassionate vehicles for those in the final stages of life … hospice care (which includes palliative care), and there isn’t any finer organization than our own Hospice of Kitsap County.  For almost 30 years, they have been providing the families of our community with the highest quality and compassionate care and dignity to those at the end of life’s journey, regardless of their ability to pay. Because of them, families can face these “end-of-life” challenges with confidence and the knowledge that their loved one is being provided outstanding care.

By the way … it should be noted that palliative care, sometimes called comfort care, which is designed to preserve the best quality of life by relieving pain, controlling symptoms, and supporting the patient’s continuing involvement with life, isn’t limited to those in the last stages of life, but is a significant element in the overall hospice program.

Earlier in this column I indicated that despite the obvious sadness and sense of loss at the death of a parent, those last days could actually be sweet and memorable.  Let me explain.

Although the impending death of a parent is often filled with a wide range of emotions … from despair, regret, and heartache to happy memories and blessed assurance and peace, the answer to dealing with this experience in a positive and life-affirming manner can only be achieved in the “now” … not when the event occurs in the future.

What I mean by that statement is that TODAY (not tomorrow) is when we have to begin the process of preparing ourselves for a parent’s death.  If we think we can leave unresolved conflicts and misunderstandings to the closing days of a parent’s life, then we’re not being realistic, and we’re only setting ourselves up for great disappointment and guilt.

All too often I see members of families that have been torn apart by unforgiveness and unresolved conflicts, struggling to cope with their quilt and bitterness after a parent has died.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  If only there had been a willingness and resolve to heal the relationship, those final days could have been spent in freedom from the tyranny of a wounded spirit, and the parent set “free” to depart in peace.

If I can accomplish nothing else in this column today, I trust that I have touched a sensitive area in people’s lives that will result in positive actions to restore hurting family relationships between parents and their children.  Nothing is more important and relevant to our health and well-being, than being free from the burden of unresolved conflict.

It’s never too late to make the “end-of-life” experience for a parent (and their children) “sweet and memorable”.  But if the groundwork hasn’t already been laid, TODAY is the day to get started.

Carl R. Johnson
Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)®
Community Relations Director
Abiding HomeCare
Silverdale, WA

Tiredness

Is the client tired for a good reason? Perhaps they overworked themselves during the day, have been suffering from insomnia due to certain medications, or are readjusting to being out of the hospital. Are they able to catch up on their sleep and seem rested enough during the day that they aren’t taking frequent naps? If they seem tired, it’s important to know how long it has been going on.

Withdrawn

Does the senior suddenly have no desire to interact with people that they once liked spending time with? Do they tend to keep to themselves more and more often? It is important to note what the senior’s disposition is normally. If they are naturally shy or soft spoken, not wanting to draw attention to themselves or interact with people, this may be a harder call to make.

Sadness

Is the client experiencing prolong bouts with sadness? Do they have a reason to be sad, such as the recent loss of a beloved pet or dear friend? Do they seem sad because of something specific or melancholy in general? Are they making progress in dealing with their sadness such as grieving for their losses? Or do they seem to be taking the loss very hard and unable to cope?

The key to picking up on and alerting a senior’s health care professional to the potential onset of depression is being intimately familiar with the client on a variety of levels. As a caregiver having a true understanding of the senior’s moods, attitudes, and outlook on things will make changes in these characteristics easier to pick up on.

Any frequent and constant changes that a family member or caregiver notices in an elderly individual should be discussed with their doctor at the first opportunity. The sooner depression is diagnosed in the client, the better the prognosis and treatment will be.

Making such home modifications doesn’t have to be expensive or require the services of a professional contractor. There are a number of simple, but effective things that  can be done by family members or the caregiver in order to promote a fall-safe environment within their loved one’s home. There are many things to be aware of when making the home environment more user-friendly for seniors and the caregiver, jobs include:

Outside the home

• Be sure that walkways, sidewalks, and concrete surfaces are free of cracks and holes. Chunks of material that may have broken off from the rest can serve as stumbling blocks on the way in and out of the home.
• Check the door threshold height in relation to the porch or landing. A threshold that is too high can cause a nasty fall if a senior was the misjudge the distance they need to step up in order to clear it. Installing a floor plate on high thresholds can level out the entry way.
• Ensure that stairs and steps leading into and out of the home are sturdy enough and wide enough to support the weight of the senior who accesses them. Handrails are essential where stairs and/or steps are involved to ensure proper balance and support.

Inside the home

• Remove any rugs or carpets that the senior may get their feet tangled up in when trying to walk across the floor.
• Avoid using wax on hardwood, linoleum, and tile floors to prevent creating a slippery surface.
• Remove all clutter from walkways in the home so that the senior does not stumble across anything in their path.
• Secure any electric cords or extension cords to the baseboards with brackets or store the excesses underneath pieces of furniture to safeguard against the senior tripping over them and falling.
• Install non-slip strips of gripping tape to stairs and steps within the home for added traction when using.

Most of the things listed above are just simple common sense and easy to carry out tasks for the caregiver.  Jobs that include the use of power tools or more technical issues though should be left to the porfessionals.